WOmen?

"Son, a woman is a lot like a... [looks around] a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice and, um... [spots his can of Duff] Oh, wait a minute. Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good and you'd step over your own mother just to get one! [downs the beer] But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman! - Homer Simpson, The Simpsons

Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned" ~ William Congreve

Women would rule the world - if only they'd stop bitchin' about each other! ~ Chris Rock

Women are like elephants. They are interesting to look at, but I wouldn't like to own one. ~ W.C. Fields

If you can make a woman laugh you can do anything with her. ~ Nicol Williamson

A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love her. ~ Oscar Wilde

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. ~ Oscar Wilde

* When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking. ~ Elayne Boosler


The stages of a woman in her relationships with men: Good--->Decent--->Slut--->Bitch. Parents (initially) and men will most of the times be the ones that accelerate, decellerate or stop this trajectory. And the worst problem is that it is nearly impossible to go back to an earlier state. ~ Average Joe

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: she changes it more often. ~ Oliver Herford